Beginning affirmation work

In the previous article I talked about how powerfully negative we can be sometimes and how this affects

us strongly and can engulf us in a short space of time. I feel that it is important to understand your negative

emotions and the triggers that kick them off. Leading a fulfilled life isn’t about ignoring those feelings. It’s about

realising who you are; this encompasses your history, your present state and your possibilities. Once we understand

the true nature of balance within ourselves we can accept the good and the bad as part of one flowing continuum,

thus allowing us to relax, step back and observe ourselves. We can begin to take more care of our expectations,

reactions, actions, and emotions, rather than sweeping them under the carpet. Once we tune in to our true selves

and actively “parent” ourselves in a nurturing fashion, we can manage our lives a bit more effectively and it makes

such a difference! Being hard on yourself when you feel down serves little purpose – cut yourself some slack –

accept the hardships and counteract the negative feelings by being gentle on yourself.

Ask yourself “What positive action can I take to help lift my mood?” Taking no action will keep you static.

How low can you go?

I want you to think about the last time you felt down or depressed. Did you thoughts seem to go round and round

without end, spiralling without resolution leaving you feeling downtrodden and exhausted? What caused you to go

there? Was there a trigger event? Or did it seem to come out of the blue?

Usually there is a trigger event– sometimes a subtle one.  There may have been a series of events, equally as subtle

but once amalgamated in your mind, they begin to create the illusion of a bigger issue.

The big stuff is hard to cope with, but the smaller stuff needn’t take you to the same place. It can be easy for us to

over blow the niggling stuff in life if we already feel low. It’s important to keep our issues in perspective and get real

with ourselves when it comes to identifying the root of an issue.

What keeps us down in the dumps? Usually it’s a combination of feelings that range from sadness, disappointment

and fatigue to anger, frustration and pain– sometimes we have them all thrown into the mix – keeping us in that low

state for longer than we would wish to be there – knowing full well that we need to move on but feeling as though

we can’t access the part of us that “coaches” us to go forwards.

Ask yourself how beneficial that negative state was? Did life move on or did you feel like you had been learning a

hard and difficult lesson, repeatedly? Did it serve a purpose? Was there a moment when you saw the contrast between

your dark and light states of mind? Or did you slowly climb out of your depression? Is there a light at the end of the

tunnel or are you still in the dark?

Occasionally, we experience a huge life event and this throws us off course and bang, we feel negative, confused and

depressed. Undoubtedly, certain events in life are hard to handle such as the loss of a loved one or a debilitating disease;

more often than not, time is proven to be the great healer allowing our complex thoughts to be understood and

processed. However, some of us get stuck in the fallout of a life changing event and find ourselves picking through

it too slowly and too painfully, with the added frustration at not being able to free ourselves. Self limiting beliefs and

self defeating attitudes may come into play here, causing a new vicious cycle to emerge. People say things like “I don’t

deserve anything good”, “things always go wrong for me”, “I shouldn’t expect things to go well – then I won’t be

disappointed”, “why is it always me that gets it?”, “oh well, this is my life’s lot, I suppose I should be glad and put

up with it”, “other people have had to put up with worse”.

All these thought patterns can lead to feelings of low self esteem, low confidence levels, and general apathy which

are not the ingredients of a fun, challenging and successful life. That’s a fact. Continuing these beliefs will lead to general

dissatisfaction, that’s a fact.

So, what’s stopping you from making a change? The stark answer is you, and only you.  Get to grips with that idea now.

No one else holds the blame from this moment on. Not even you. In reality you are a product of many things including

your environment and circumstances – so, at this point in time you can actively decide to change the conditions. Yes,

you can. If you are reading this and truly want to make a leap forward believe me when I say “When you begin to think

in a positive fashion, you empower yourself to set the mood, tone and colour of every single moment”- I guarantee it.

I’m not denying that many people in this world are subjected to intense experiences that push the envelope – however,

the survivors of this world do so with the aid of a positive outlook – this is also a fact. We all know that living at this time

on this planet is challenging, but it’s also exciting and full of endless possibilities. So, commit yourself to understanding the

true nature of your mind for all its ups and downs– your experience of life is what makes you who you are for better or

worse. Know those facets of your soul well! Realise that we all have the ability to take control of something we understand

more fully.

An exercise

Know Your Negativity

Think about the negative beliefs you may have – make a list of ten things that you regard to be negative emotions. You

might come up with statements like “I’m lacking in confidence” “I’m over emotional” “I can stop thinking negative

thoughts” “I always think of the worst scenario” “I’m my own worst enemy”. Whatever you think is negative and stops

you from progressing, write it down. Don’t think too hard about it and write whatever comes to mind.

Focus

Have a look at what you have written, very carefully. Are they beliefs? Are they niggles? Are they observations based

on other people’s opinions? Are they physical observations? I want you to analyse these thoughts and narrow them

down, changing them if necessary, so you eventually have a list of five self limiting or self defeating beliefs.

For example, if you have written a physical observation such as “I am too fat” think again. Think about the negative

thoughts and actions that prevent you from losing weight. What beliefs are tied up in there – you may come up with

other negative thoughts that run more deeply - “I feel unattractive” or “I hate myself” or “I don’t care about myself”

If you have made statements that are vague, think again.  “I am so weak – I never know what to say and people think

I am boring” – who have you bored and what did they say? Where is the evidence? How weak are you and what does

it mean? Where’s the “weakometer?”  What are the underlying emotions here – fear? Fear of others reactions? Lack of

confidence, low self esteem?

Once you have analysed and narrowed down your list to five top ten self limiting or self defeating beliefs give yourself

a big pat on the back.  Now it’s time to change!

The flipside

Let’s be totally radical - I want you to flip those emotions over – turn them on their heads. Write the opposing belief.

Go on. If you’ve written “I hate myself” write “I love myself”.  If you have written “I have no confidence” write “I have

total confidence in myself”.

Once you have done this, discard the paper with the negatives – rip it up into little pieces and throw it in the bin. Say

goodbye – none of those beliefs were worth anything anyway! Why did you write them down? Carry on and find out.

Perform some magic!

It’s always said that a magic spell only works if you truly believe it and perform it with conviction! Writing an affirmation

is like writing your own spell – it’s a formula for your success.

I said in part one, some people do find this first stage challenging. I want you to keep an open mind. Affirmations only

work if they are repeated on a regular basis – you are beginning the process of reprogramming your mind. This has to

be a clockwork action – that’s how your mind and body work – reactions and regular processes. Ok. The trick is to “perform”

your affirmations at the same time of day – every day for two weeks.

           children’s blocks, sticky notes. What will work well for you?

      •    Keep a journal of your progress. Some people simply put a tick in their diary.

      •    A personal account combined with powerful affirmations can help you to keep track of any emotions

           that may come up when you start this process.

      •    Stay with the affirmations for two weeks – five affirmations a day for two weeks. Easy peasy

           lemon squeezy!

      •    Practise performing them in front of a mirror – do your best Laurence Olivier or Katherine Hepburn.

           Make yourself laugh – have fun – it’s a private moment for you and you alone.  Breathe and relax.

Get comfortable with it and be prepared to notice a difference. Over time, these positive thoughts become

a natural part of you and become as ingrained as your negative thoughts once were!

Let me know how you get on and good luck!

Richard Leighton

© October 2004

and e-mail me your full contact details.